‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Driving Household Mishaps in UK?

Handcuffs650LONDON – The London Fire Brigade has no issue with Londoners trying out kinky techniques they encounter in E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, but faced with a surge in emergency calls, the brigade is urging UK citizens to be more careful when experimenting.

Since 2010, the LFB has attended more than 1,300 incidents involving people who were trapped or stuck, often in everyday household items. Another seventy-nine incidents involved handcuffs, and nine calls requested assistance removing a ring-shaped device of some kind from a man’s penis.

In the past, the brigade’s “crews have been called to a man whose penis was stuck in a toaster and another with his manhood trapped in a vacuum cleaner,” a statement distributed this week noted.

An LFB tweet bearing the hashtag #FiftyShadesofRed voiced a clear suspicion: “So @ChristianTGrey, are your exploits to blame for the rise in handcuff incidents we’re called out to?!”

Officially, the brigade is a bit more reserved.

“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” LFB Third Officer Dave Brown said. “I’m sure most people will be fifty shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.”

Brown’s advice: “If you use handcuffs, always keep the keys handy. Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out [to] could be prevented with a little common sense.”


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Peter Berton

Peter Berton is an award-winning adult industry journalist whose work is featured on YNOT.com and has been published by other adult-industry publications.

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