LONDON – Sheridan “Shed” Simove is a comedian, a motivational speaker and the very naughty mind behind the irreverent Masturpieces line of dildos.

It’s difficult to imagine the church or Britain’s royal family approving.

Masturpieces are full-body representations mocking (or flattering, depending on one’s perspective) famous individuals from fact and fiction. Buckingham Phallus resembles Queen Elizabeth II, who looks none too amused. Cunt Dracula brings to mind the king of vampires. Vagenie evokes the denizen of Aladdin’s lamp, and Rampant Rabbi is … well, self-explanatory.

A self-described “idea man,” Simove said he is proud of the hand-crafted sex toys — so proud, in fact, that he contacted the queen with a request she lend royal approval to Buckingham Phallus. As might be imagined, Her Royal Majesty declined to respond.

Shimove, however, was eager to respond to questions from YNOTeurope.com.

YNOT Europe: You look more like a British PeeWee Herman than the sort who would disturb a monarch. Please tell us a bit about yourself.

Shed Simove: I’m a human. I adore globe artichokes. I’m utterly fascinated with the choices people make. To that end, I give motivational speeches to companies about how to come up with amazing ideas and make them happen.

I also write books on success and innovation, plus I’m a novelty gift designer who has sold more than a million products worldwide. Oh, and I perform comedy shows and have authored a book, too.

Note that I’m also a fervent self-promoter.

Why did you create this line of unusual adult toys?

Why make any idea come to life?

The answer for me is this: I often choose to do things that make me chuckle; might make my friends, family or audiences at my comedy shows chuckle; have not been done before; make people think about taboos or societal trends or amuse me when I think about making real adults work on them with me.

Why does any artist create? Because they’re compelled to do so. I can’t not. And who’s to say I’m not an artist, if Damien Hirst is?

Why the … uh … “attention-getting” names?

As with many of my product ideas, these creations were mostly led by puns that matched the concept perfectly.

Once I decided on the names for my new adult toys, I had to find an amazingly talented sculptor to realize my vision for them. The guy I eventually found, Stuart Harris, is an utter genius who should have his past works placed in a museum. Instead, I decided to drag him right down to my level and ask him to sculpt silicone dildos.

I’m fairly certain it was a career high point for him.

What did the production process look like?

After the sculpting of many clay versions for each adult toy, we got to a point where I was happy with the finished clay models. Then, we produced resin masters of each one, and those were used to create molds.

Each dildo is hand-cast by master molder Richard Arm using phthalate-free and latex-free silicone. I firmly believe each one is a limited-edition work of art.

What sort of response have the products received?

Apart from getting into hot water with the adult chain Ann Summers over the trademark for the Rampant Rabbi, it may surprise you to hear that the reaction to the Masturpieces has been overwhelmingly positive. A few folk have expressed a dislike for them, but in these cases, the person expressing that view has at least thought about why they don’t like them. Thinking about everything we do as humans — and questioning these things — is vital, crucial and pivotal if we’re to grow as people and as a race.

Given the response to Masturpieces, do you intend to produce more adult toys?

I’m always thinking of new ideas in all realms. To follow on from my dildos, I plan on launching a collection of butt plugs called the Smart Arse line. Each butt plug will have the head of a genius: a Bill Gates butt plug, an Einstein and a Stephen Hawking, for example. Of course, the Hawking butt plug will be perfect for your black hole.

I’ve actually recently made some amazing prototypes for this range, and I proudly display them in my comedy show, Trouble. People seem to go crazy for them.

You also invent non-adult products, don’t you?

Indeed. My latest products are 3D speech bubble balloons that you blow up. They’re made of foil and printed with slogans like “OMG,” “I LOVE YOU’ and “LOL,” so you can hold them up to your mouth and take a photo to send to friends or loved ones.

I have 600 ideas in my portfolio, so expect to see many more in the future.

Are you looking for distributors?

Absolutely! My aim is to find a wholesaler who would relish licensing the ideas for my Masturpieces and then mass-produce the dildos, so the price would fall dramatically. Thus, pretty much anyone could own a dildo in the shape of the queen, which is important. It’s pretty much a vital object that everyone needs, like toilet paper or a coffin.

I’m also looking for distributors and partners for the other 600 ideas I have in my portfolio. They include everything from kitchen appliances to websites, apps, fashion collections, books and movies. My motto is, “If you throw enough mud at the wall….”