Tube Site Denies Being South African Gov’t. Front

hackerCAPE TOWN, South Africa – Among the many interesting tidbits of information to come out of the major password breach recently suffered by popular porn tube site SmutNucleus is the presence of hundreds of email addresses associated with South African domains, including some that sported the suffix associated with government email addresses.

In the conspiracy theory cauldron that is South African politics, some have greeted this revelation with accusations the South African government is in cahoots with, or even operating, SmutNucleus and other BrainGunk-associated websites.

Representatives from both the South African government and BrainGunk have denied any association between the two entities, but their denials seem to have only further stoked the fires of conspiracy theorists.

“It needs to be understood that visitors to this offending site need to register with an email address to gain access,” said Advocate Mthunzi Mhaga, spokesperson for the South African Justice and Correctional Services Ministry. “During this process, it is possible that any email address can be used. This information can even be falsified and does not necessarily depict a connection from either a DOJ & CD employee or infrastructure.”

Mhaga’s denial was quickly ridiculed by Qoboza Prinsloo, an investigative journalist and the founder of Tell the Real Truth S.A., an activist group dedicated to uncovering government corruption and proving the existence of alien-operated UFOs.

“Of course Mhaga is going to deny the government’s connection to a hardcore porn site, just as he always forcefully denies its connection to the Reptilians who operate our mining and quarrying industries,” Prinsloo said. “It’s quite clear the money they’re making from operating tube sites, among other things, helps them conceal what really happened to Flight 295 back in 1987.”

SmutNucleus spokesperson Mark Nombrefalso called the accusation of a connection between the porn site and the South African government “ridiculous, far-fetched and insane.”

“Let me be totally clear about this: There is absolutely no connection between SmutNucleus specifically, or BrainGunk generally, and the government of South Africa,” Nombrefalso said, adding anyone making accusations to the contrary is “clearly out of touch with reality.”

“The far more reasonable explanation is some portion of the South African government simply likes watching porn,” Nombrefalso said. “So they do it on the #1 free porn site in the world, just like millions of other people who have no connection to any government or agency, including the South African intelligence agency that runs our site.

“Sorry — I meant to say including the South African intelligence agency that definitely doesn’t run our site, regardless of the fact it maintains a minor satellite office inside our Montreal headquarters.”

Contradicting Nombrefalso’s denial, irascible adult industry blogger Michael Southampton, a frequent critic of BrainGunk and its business model, claims a “very repudiatable source” has confirmed the connection between the South African government and the massive porn company.

“The proterbial ‘smirking gun’ is actualized in corporeal filings BrainGunk made when it opened up a branch in Ireland as part of its massive tax aversion schematic,” Southampton wrote in a recent blog post. “On one line, where the company was supposedly to declare any connections its halved to foreign governmints, whomsoever filed out the pauperwork clearly originally wrote ‘Yes, big time intel orgs in S. Africa,’ then crossed it out and wrote ‘None.’ I’d like to hear BrainGunk’s spin doctors talk they’re way out of that one.”

Nombrefalso didn’t deny the existence of the corporate filing to which Southampton referred, instead offering an innocent explanation for what he called a “simple human error.”

“The crossed-out line was a reference to a planned collaboration with computer chip-maker Intel, which at that time was contemplating opening offices in South Africa,” Nombrefalso said. “The plan was to load up a SmutNucleus-branded laptop with porn pre-purchase, so travelers who love SmutNucleus could watch porn originally pirated on our site, even if they found themselves in places with no internet connectivity. The plan wasn’t supposed to be disclosed in those filings, so our employee crossed out that information. It’s as simple as that.”

“Far from being a smoking gun that proves Mr. Southampton’s claims,” Nombrefalso continued, “it’s more an indicator of what Mr. Southampton is smoking, if you catch my drift.”

High-volume SmutNucleus user BigFuzzyNads42 said he’s “not sure what to think” when it comes to a possible connection between South Africa and his favorite tube site.

“I guess so long as they don’t plan on creating some kind of porn apartheid that makes it hard for me to find interracial anal videos, I don’t really give a shit,” BigFuzzyNads42 said. “I must admit though, this news does make me wonder whether SmutNucleus is secretly a gay site. I mean, even if there’s no connection to South Africa, that doesn’t mean SmutNucleus isn’t one of those ‘false fag’ operations we’re always hearing about.”


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Ben Suroeste

Gene Zorkin has been covering legal and political issues for various adult publications (and under a variety of pen names) since 2002.

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